Memory
by The Heart's Notebook
Summary: A painful mistake from his past begins to haunt Kurama. As a new enemy rises to challenge Team Urameshi Kurama falls even deeper into shame and guilt. Even though there's no possible way to change what he did Kurama is determined to redeem himself.
1. Prologue: Haunted

_**A painful mistake from his past begins to haunt Kurama. As a new enemy rises to challenge Team Urameshi Kurama falls even deeper into shame and guilt. Even though there's no possible way to change what he did Kurama is determined to redeem himself.**_

 _ **Memory**_  
Prologue_ Haunted

Team Urameshi sat quietly in Genkai's mountain compound after a long day of training. Everyone else was asleep.

Yusuke, Kuwabara, and Hiei looked up from the fire in the hearth when they heard Kurama talking lowly as he slept in the armchair. They flinched when Kurama jolted awake suddenly.

"K-Kurama? You ok?" Kuwabara wondered.

Kurama looked at them panting lightly. "I'm fine," He looked away.

"Hey, who's..." Yusuke asked the red head. Kurama had to block out the name to keep himself together.

"Nobody," Kurama answered shortly. He stood up and walked outside and slid the door closed behind him.

Yusuke and Kuwabara looked at each other confused then at Hiei expecting clarification. Hiei just shrugged and closed his eyes again, "I have no idea either."

Yusuke felt a yearning to go after the kitsune, but he also knew if Kurama was angry he would regret it in a heartbeat.

Yusuke went after Kurama anyway. Yusuke found him in the garden sitting on a stone bench by the pond that was fed by a waterfall.

Yusuke took a deep breath and exhaled, "Well, here goes nothing." He cautiously went up to Kurama, "Hey, Kurama, is everything ok?"

"No, Yusuke," Kurama didn't look at him, "It's not."

"The girl you were talking about in your sleep," Yusuke sat down next to the older male, "Is she a friend of yours?"

Kurama nodded solemnly, "In a way."

"In a way, as in, she was your girl?" Yusuke observed the red head's expression. Kurama didn't answer. Yusuke took his silence as a yes. "You broke her heart, didn't you?" Yusuke wondered.

"Yes," Kurama finally spoke, "But it was the only way I could keep her safe from my adversaries."

"Why are you beating yourself up over it then?" Yusuke saw Kurama clinch his jaw. At first Yusuke thought it was anger he saw in the Kitsune's eyes, but he was wrong. Yusuke looked at him in shock.

There were tears building up in Kurama's eyes.

Kurama sighed, "Let's just say my choice of words weren't exactly civil, Yusuke."

The night wind blew a magnolia bloom onto Kurama's lap from the tree above them. Yusuke saw how intensely Kurama looked at the flower; as if it were something precious to him.

Kurama held the bloom delicately in his hand.

"What..." Yusuke was a little hesitant, "Whatever happened to her, Kurama?"

Kurama's tears finally spilled over and down his face. He bit his bottom lip to keep it from trembling. He forced himself to speak, "She died a long time ago."

For as long as he knew him Yusuke had never seen the kitsune so broken. Never so completely devastated over someone from his past. Yusuke was at a loss about what to say.

Yusuke deemed it wise not to say anything else.

Yusuke could tell whoever this woman was she meant the world to Kurama and he could never take back what he did.

 _ **To Be Continued...**_


	2. When Magnolias Rain

_**Memory**_  
1_ When Magnolias Rain

"You know, there really are times when I just cannot understand you," Hiei stated one day.

The team had noticed that since Kurama had those dreams he kept falling deeper and deeper into guilt, sadness, and solitude. They could find him sitting under the magnolia tree lost deep in thought. He would allow one of them to sit with him but he would hardly say anything.

Kurama didn't looked at him, "What do you mean?"

"You know exactly what I mean, kitsune," Hiei said.

Kurama finally looked at him, "Wouldn't you feel the same way if you broke Yukina's heart?"

"That's not a fair comparison," Hiei stated, "She's my kin not my lover."

"Regardless, wouldn't you Hiei? If you were to got to her right now and brutally break her heart and never have the chance to correct it, would you not regret it centuries later?" Kurama saw his friend shift uncomfortably at the question.

"Yes," Hiei answered.

"Okay, now we're on the same page," Kurama got up and began to walk away.

"Kurama," Hiei said. Kurama stopped. "How do you know she didn't forgive you? She could have."

"She didn't, Hiei," The red head stated.

Hiei got up but he didn't go to the kitsune, "After all this time why are you thinking about it?"

"The magnolias," Kurama stated looking up at the magnolia tree as petals rained down around them. "They were always her favorite," Kurama slightly grinned for the first time in days. "She was so beautiful inside and out..." Kurama caught a magnolia bloom as it fell, "She could put the most beautiful bloom to shame. At least to me she could."

Hiei studied the kitsune intensely. He could tell that whatever Kurama said to her it was really eating away at him; his very core.

"She was my better half, Hiei," Kurama continued, "And being the self-righteous fool that I was then I had to ruin that. I was perfectly capable of protecting her with my own hand, but I was so focused on my greed of being a bandit that I didn't want to make her safety and happiness my responsibility nor my priority."

Kurama felt a painful jolt hit him hard, "When I finally realized my mistake it was too late...She took her own life...because of me..." Kurama crushed the bloom in his hand, "Her blood is on my hands and it can never be washed away."

"Kurama, what if her death was a lie?" Hiei suggested, "A lie to make sure you'd never find her? For all you know she could still be alive."

"No Hiei," Kurama shook his head. "If she were still alive," He pressed his hand that held the crushed magnolia to his heart, "My heart wouldn't feel so numb." Kurama looked up at the blooms still clinging to the tree. "I'm so sorry...Mayuna," Kurama thought to himself, "I would do anything to correct my mistake... _anything_."

 _ **To Be Continued...**_


End file.
